QUESTION:
I have a 8-year-old daughter. Overall she is very good: obedient and lovable. The problem I have with her is that she is very unhygienic. When she takes a bath she rarely picks up the soap and her face is still dirty when she gets out of the tub. She does not care about how she looks or smells or how her room looks. She knows she must clean her room but when I walk in it's still a mess...filthy old candy wrappers and popcorn under the bed. It is only a few years before she starts with her periods and will have to take care of herself. Should I still bathe her at this stage?
I have a 8-year-old daughter. Overall she is very good: obedient and lovable. The problem I have with her is that she is very unhygienic. When she takes a bath she rarely picks up the soap and her face is still dirty when she gets out of the tub. She does not care about how she looks or smells or how her room looks. She knows she must clean her room but when I walk in it's still a mess...filthy old candy wrappers and popcorn under the bed. It is only a few years before she starts with her periods and will have to take care of herself. Should I still bathe her at this stage?
MY ANSWER:
At this age the best strategy is to SHOW her what must be done, not tell her. Make a game out of it at first but be sure she knows it's a rule. First help her learn how to use a wastebasket and teach her what goes there, help her find places for her toys, give her a hamper or bag for dirty clothes. Asking a child to clean a room which seems obvious and easy to us is like asking her to empty a lake with a spoon. It's overwhelming. But when you have shown her what to do state the rule: "Every Saturday you must clean your room." And have consequences (no TV, for example) if she does not do it properly. Consequences are the "stick: approach.
Use the same principle for personal hygiene. Get some bubble bath and nice soaps, gels, and spa mitts. Tell her these are for grown-up girls. Take a few baths and showers together as a game. Comment on how nice she smells and looks. Try a reward system which is the "carrot." Use a chart for taking a bath right. After a week of stars give her a small but valued reward. Don't give a star if she doesn't earn it by getting clean.
This answer is NOT intended as a substitute for professional medical care. ALWAYS consult your physician or childcare expert if you have any questions concerning yourself or your family's well being.
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