Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Parenting Question: "Playing Doctor"

I answered this letter yesterday.
I understand there is reason for concern if one of the children "playing doctor" is older--which is my main concern with my son's doctor experience. Two times I've learned of my son playing "doctor" with a girl 2 1/2 years older than he is. The first time (several months ago when he was 4 1/2 and she was going on 7), the girl initiated the play after her bro played it with her (he is almost two years older than she is). He told me about it. I told the girl's mother--and my husband and I had a talk with our son about not touching people's private parts, and how no one except his parents or doctor should be touching his. This past weekend, it happened again. But according to my son (now 5) it was his idea. The girl (now 7 1/2) played along. And this time he didn't tell me about it--my daughter did, even though they made her promise she wouldn't. Please tell me the best way to approach a second talk with my son about this.


Say it again. Calmly, sweetly so he realizes this is not a parental, "I told you the next time you did____ you would get it!"

Be sure to say he seems curious about bodies and the differences between boys and girls. "Do you have any questions you want to ask me?" Then tell him again it's not polite or proper to touch other people's private parts. Then head for the library or bookstore for a book (or another book) on human sexuality written for 4-year-olds.

There is an age difference but both kids are prepubertal. So it's not as bad as a 14-year-old boy with a 4-year-old.

Good luck! I know parents worry about how to handle these situations.

Marilyn Heins, MD
This answer is NOT intended as a substitute for professional medical care. ALWAYS consult your physician or childcare expert if you have any questions concerning yourself or your family's well being.

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Do you have a parenting question? Go to www.ParentKidsRight.com , click on "info" and you reach me to get a FREE answer to your parenting questions. I am a pediatrician who devotes all her time to parenting education and looks forward to hearing from you.

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